What to do?

My quazi boyfriend returned from a five week trip. He appeared cold, indifferent, detached and when I went to hold his hand his reaction was to pull back initally.  I tried to ask some questions which just brought an attitude of annoyance and avoidance.
Meandering the local Wal-mart it felt frigid and we weren't near the freezers.
When I had picked up the few things I wanted he dismissed me and went on to look at some things he needed. Very unlike the man that left five weeks earlier.
As soon as I arrived I felt the negative energy. Then he ran into someone he knew.  Listening to the conversation my body shuddered at the words they use along with negative attitudes about life. I thought, run into the sunlight,somehow hoping it would wash off any adverse vibrations from these people. The others departed but the chill from him remained.
On my way home shedding a few tears, thinking about the short visit, my questions to myself included: Why do you feel in spite of continual hurt you want to stay connected to this person?
Yes its a friendship, but in my heart buried deep is a memory of the person I once loved. So letting go is difficult, yet staying is even more difficult. We are trying to be friends, can one do that now? One always cares more then the other, don't they?
When home, reading the book "when life falls apart" I feel comforted and back in the sunlight of the spirit. I write, I meditate, I pray, my vision a bit clearer, my resolve a bit stronger.
I go into the kitchen and find my water purfier is broken. I sigh, I dont know how to fix it, is that why I dont want to let him go? Reminding myself we have changed, and laughter is minimal, the armor is on, the war is silently waged and I ask God to heal my heart and provide someone to fix my reverse osmosis system.
I don't know where I am going, but I do know where I have been.
Do I want to go back or move forward, to hold on or to let go, to risk finding someone that meets my needs or hold on to whats familiar? Is independence better then codependency?
For today no concrete answers, but they are coming as I am walking, learning and seeking the path of enlightenment.